User blog:SWLover2/D.I.T. Literary Universe villains, ranked from worst to best
Historically, the biggest problem with D.I.T., especially the D.I.T. Literary Universe, has been its villains. "The Latest Threat" was praised back in January for having one of the best villains in the universe (and in fictional history). Annabeth, who has charisma and sophistication of plenty, and fluctuates loyalty so often it's hard to keep up, is another great example. Mr. Stupid NoHead was recognized for being a well-written, menacing villain in "Pride of the Super Babies" and the "Before The SMSB" franchise. He's portrayed as an embodiment of evil despite D. Isaac Thomas' current shortage of literary education and electronic limitations that made villains like the Lord of the North underwhelming and cheesy. And while many other villains are compelling as well, several certainly aren't, such as the ones featured in D. Isaac Thomas' latest release, "Diary of a Troubled Eighth Grader." In fact, the main villain isn't really even a villain. There's plenty of room for improvement in terms of the motives, goals, and overall, several of them don't feel like a genuine threat to our heroes. But that doesn't mean that all of these DLU villains are bad: we just have some who are forgettable, even in some of the best books to date including "An Ended Generation," "Superquack," and "Annie and the Blue-Eared Kid." Still, there are several good villains in there to make up for it, and I took a look at the primary antagonist from each book so far to give you a sense of which were the best (and worst). This list doesn't include all villains in the DLU: just major ones with some very special exceptions (Willie the Banker and Charlie Corner). It also excludes Pete and Helen McKeen, who are good now and it was kind of obvious they would be eventually. 38. Lord Veyakon (Annie and the Blue-Eared Kid 2) All right, let's face it, this hastily written villain only exists to cause a climax with the Essama in order to help Savannah van Dukas destroy as much property as possible. His goal was to kill hundreds of children to spite the people who weakened him? Talk about stopping at nothing to beat a dead horse. 37. President Evans (The X-Children: The Return of the Verasect) The "evil President" isn't exactly an untrue stereotype but hell if it isn't a tired cliche. Evans was a bit lazily written: He's paranoid that Master Intelligence is trying to start a war and that Lindsay is helping him and will do anything to damage their reputations so he may have them sentenced to death. He's a lifeless villain with only a few lines, yet he's mentioned all the time. What he needs is a logical adviser and a treadmill. 36. The Dark Priest (Diary of a Troubled Seventh Grader, Demolition One, Superquack III) Who is the Dark Priest? Good question. He was a diminutive terrorist outraged by peace and the central villain in the second "Zachary Brown" book. His whole thing was subjecting his childhood school to everlasting chaos, allegedly on the orders of a sentient apple. He never gave a reason for wanting to shrink-ray thousands of underage asses except out of sheer spite. Honestly, the entire book - which warrants a six out of ten - could have been avoided if Martha was smart enough not to let Zach eat sweets without knowing where they came from, especially if they're for Jon. Despite being an utterly unacceptable contribution to the catalog of villains in the D.I.T. Literary Universe, the Dark Priest is going to show up in "Demolition One" and "Superquack III", where he might wind up antagonizing Carol Wilcox and Superquack. Maybe he'll get the Xerin treatment, if you know what I mean. He's going to be pretty pissed about his arrest and nobody believing his apple story, so to be continued.... 35. The Lord of the Stone (Before The SMSB: When is Prehistory?) And who is this big grey guy? Good question. He was the leader of the Kingdom of the Stone and the central villain in the first "Before The SMSB" book. His whole thing was bringing "eternal darkness" to the world, so he killed a King, shapeshifted into him, and ruled with no interest in the good of his people. The Lord of the Stone's backstory and motivation is pretty much that he likes rocky and metallic things? Thanks to Leonard and Sir Analdas, the world never went stony. Honestly, the entire book - which is fine, but forgettable - could have been avoided if somebody suggested the Lord of the Stone just move to the Rocky Mountains. 34. Suzie (The Man Who Talked to the Wall 2) This girl is so forgettable I almost forgot Mr. Walltalker had more than one nemesis. D. Isaac Thomas probably fell asleep typing her lines. 33. Candy Man (The X-Children: Where Are You Now?) This character was promoted half to death, so it was disappointing that his character was so underwritten. While he had some funny moments including the Turan gag, his character felt like a rushed, last-minute addition when people realized that the main villain, Hell Burnbottom, was already the villain in the original series. Candy Man is an ideal example when we don't know who the villain is until the end so we need a holding villain until then. This guy could really use some thoughtful character development. 32. Dorphane Giles (Before The SMSB: Where is the Darkness?, Before The SMSB: Who Will Hold Dominion?) Dorphane Giles was a mass-murdering tyrant whose frightening demeanor is lost in pounds of disloyalty and unfeeling cruelty. Giles is menacing and D. Isaac Thomas is a freaking expert at delivering her many, many monologues and I've actually heard him do it, but other than that there's not much characterization. I guess she's trying way too hard to be a badass. Her cruelty is such that she bathes in the blood of her victims, which admittedly is pretty badass. 31. Yidd (Journey to Planet 12) Yidd was an evil scientist who does messed-up experiments for money, but mostly for his own selfish entertainment. Annie was already about to go back home to Earth and this picture book didn't even need a villain. 30. The Keeper (Journey to Planet 12 II) As a greedy butthole who hoards the things he's stolen to add to the collection his life revolves around, the Keeper was more of a pest than a threat, and amounted to being just another blip in the catalog of D.I.T. villains. 29. Grace Tyler (Diary of a Troubled Sixth Grader, Diary of a Troubled Seventh Grader, Diary of a Troubled Eighth Grader) Grace Tyler wasn't a terrible villain, but she was far from evil, she's just a pain in Zachary's butt and let's face it, we're all a pain sometimes. She's an academic overachiever and took charge during Field Day, and does her morally reasonable work with a smile. 28. Xalvatrix (Before The SMSB: What is a Bloodbath?) Xalvatrix was a valuable asset to the Dark Lord after Dorphane Giles' fall from grace. She's no Annabeth Black, but she has a way of killing you from the opposite end of the Solar System. While underdeveloped, she's a strikingly and chillingly beautiful mutant who poses a very real threat to the Police Grand Army. 27. L'smae (Before The SMSB: Who Will Hold Dominion?, Before The SMSB: What is a Bloodbath?) As henchmen go, Mr. Stupid NoHead's inner circle, called the Order of the NoHeads, are at the top of the heap - none more so than his personal bodyguard L'smae. This evil mutant baby (remember Sebiscuits Cardarphen?) joined the Dark Lord in flattening Queen Zygen's Palace and nearly doing the same to Superhero University. What she lacks in character development, she makes up for in terms of sheer creepiness and the threat she poses. The best thing about L'smae is that she wasn't unreasonable and joined the Police Grand Army because she'd only been introduced to one side of mutantry. 26. Mr. Baby Tutu (Superquack) "Superquack" was surprisingly good. It's funny, silly, and builds up to the second part of the DLU in ways "Journey to Planet 12" failed to do. But its villain, Mr. Baby Tutu, was taken a little too seriously, and like most on this list, wasn't memorable. The good novel could've been a great one if the sense of humor that defined the novel was applied to its mechanical villain. Instead, Mr. Baby Tutu applies the same personality, choices, and motivations as Potty from "The Prime Poppies". 25. Miranda Patrick (Boys vs. Girls: The Fate of the Towers, Boys vs. Girls 2 Prelude) While she isn't a villain-villain, Miranda Patrick does a tolerable job of causing huge problems for the protagonist until the real villain of the novel shows up. Her mysterious demeanor and subtly sassy attitude make her a formidable, if not strangely bland and forgettable, foe. But her backstory setting her up as an honorable, albeit unhinged teenager just trying to get by arguably makes her less of a villain and more of a supporting antagonist. Perhaps it’s not fair to judge her by “main villain” standards, since she doesn’t have to carry too much of the plot by herself. Still, she's a strong step towards villains in the DLU that are not nihilist monsters but nuanced, complicated people. 24. Charity Hirz (Annie and the Blue-Eared Kid) Charity Hirz wasn't a terrible villain, but she also wasn't exactly a villain at all. Like Emily Watson, she had a reasonable motivation, but was a bit more understanding and didn't murder anybody. 23. The Lord of the North (The Super Babies: Book I: Pride of the Super Babies, The Super Babies: Book IV: An Ended Generation) The Lord of the North was fine, but he's way too similar to Mr. Stupid NoHead and gets killed way too easily. Plus it's annoying hear him rant like he's reading lines from the Bible. We all know he's just a holdout villain for Annabeth Black. 22. Reba Silo Walltalker (The Man Who Talked to the Wall, The Man Who Talked to the Wall 2) When the Wall was stolen, we were expecting the heroes to run into another overpowered Dark mutant, but Reba Silo certainly isn't that. Like Giles, she wasn't perfect, but she was an ideal villain for the kind of story she was in. 21. The Daughters of Nebelon (The X-Adults: Endgame: The New Order) D. Isaac Thomas would probably be way happier if the Daughters of Nebelon who aren't Lindsay Kellerman could qualify as individual characters in this ranking, but the reality is that they're simply not developed properly and are best considered a single unit. Alexandra ends up being the most developed, but that's something of a cheat, because she defected to the S.M.S.B. Then there was Helena, an almost mute, grumpy tomboy who looks like a stereotypical henchman and lacks any sort of real substance. Alita barely has any personality and is just there. Elizabeth Muun is a little better, but the very fact that she simply dropped off the face of the Earth at the end of the book suggests everything you need to know about how great she was. And her overly-sexualized costume was just a bit unnecessary when no other costumes were like that, frankly. It's not like it matched her character in any tangible way. 20. Nebelon (The X-Adults: Endgame: The Latest Threat, The X-Adults: Endgame: The Inferno Relit, The X-Adults: Endgame: The New Order) The big yellow-headed monster gets a lot of grief, but she's not really as bad as some people might have you believe. Nebelon feels like a bit of a cheat bad guy, really, because she's so powerful that she can manifest her powers in any way she likes. She's effectively a Swiss Army Mutant and while that's great for making her a threat, it also means that taking her down lacks a believability factor - particularly when it's done the way it's done in the last novel, compared to how she's portrayed in the first two. There's been a lot of deep villains lately, but Nebelon fails to stand out among all the other two-dimensional villains. 19. Natalia Thornton (Boys vs. Girls: The Coming Darkness, Boys vs. Girls 2, Boys vs. Girls 2 Prelude) "Boys vs. Girls 2" was by far one of the best books in the DLU, and Natalia Thornton measures up. Of course while she was deeply motivated by power, she was also motivated by a sibling rivalry with Helen. She accepts her defeat and arrest, once she and Helen reconcile, which shows that despite her evil demeanor this character may deserve some investment. It's sad that in "Prelude" she's more of a pest than a real threat or important part of the plot. But it’s her relatable resentment toward a sister that makes her a compelling character. 18. Jamboga Pine (Superquack II) Jamboga Pine has one thing going for him: of all the DLU villains, he is definitely the most overpowered. Jamboga isn't exactly boring or lazily written, but his methods, motives, and goals are repetitive, especially within the DLU. He wants to take over the universe and to do that he must destroy the world! Zero points for originality, a lot of points for wiping the floor with Vincent, Jay, and even Morgan, and for looking awesome. 17. Longfellow (Boys vs. Girls: The Coming Darkness, Boys vs. Girls: The Fate of the Towers) Longfellow is an associate of the Girl-Team with a small brain and a large ego. Longfellow is such an entertaining villain and one of the trilogy's most memorable characters, bringing unconventional charm to a cast of children and adolescents in and out of his General Exotorn disguise. 16. Hilary J. Black (Boys vs. Girls: The Coming Darkness, Boys vs. Girls: The Rise of the Serpent, Boys vs. Girls: The Fate of the Towers) Hilary J. Black has one thing going for her: of all the DLU villains, she definitely has the biggest hands. The Orc demon isn't necessarily a bad bad guy, but her methods, motives, and goals are repetitive, especially within the DLU. She wants to take over the universe and to do that she must destroy the main resistance and feed her sidekick's skewed ideologies. Zero points for originality, a lot of points for being really big and looking awesome. 15. Baron Zarath (Before The SMSB: Why Has The Storm Ceased?) Imagine a terrorist so evil that he was named Baron by his partners-in-crime, and then imagine a terrorist that was once a superhero-of-sorts, and finally imagine a feared servant of the Dark Lord that ritually praises him, and you get the darkest of men through and through. He may not be the powerhouse of some DLU arch-foes, but Baron Zarath's villainy made for the perfect final twist in Sheriff Bladepoint's opening tale. He may not be the most fleshed-out villain, but when your spirit song is called "Ball of Satan", you know you're definitely the scourge of God. 14. The Gladiator (The X-Adults: Endgame: The Latest Threat) The Gladiator was the only man capable of doing what thousands have attempted. It's not rebirthing the NoHeads, it's not knowing when to back down, it's the perfect balance between his terrifying demeanor and sense of humor. His appearance made the book a lot more memorable so it wasn't just 'The Tragedy of Thomas Meyer' and set the stages for everything else that happened. 13. Rose Johannson (The X-Children: Where Are You Now?, The X-Children: The Return of the Verasect, Boys vs. Girls 2 Prelude) Going into "Boys vs. Girls 2 Prelude", Rose Johannson was pretty lame, and was formerly listed as number 32 on the list. However, "Prelude" brings the sick and perverted nurse to life. Despite her lack of page frequency in "The X-Children", Rose is genuinely dangerous and scary and brings some very severe problems to the S.M.S.B. with unsettling parallels to our present. But "Prelude", which gives her much more page frequency than her other two appearances, reveals to us that her motivations are a combination of Zira’s and Sebiscuits’ — two of the absolute best villains in the DLU. Her means to achieve her ends, like Sebiscuits', are despicable and unforgivable, but they come from a very real place of torment, neglect, and looking up to the wrong people as the family she never had. But like Zira, she just wants to live the high life and help people occupationally in the process. Despite being fun to hate, she's an ingeniously crafted representation of adults in real life who heartlessly exploit children and are skilled at getting away with it, and I applaud her for that. In "Prelude", her negative behavior throws out a different message about the world we live in: neglected and tormented children become unhinged and neglect and torment their children, who become even more unhinged as a result, and both messages this character yields are very real and severe problems in our world. 12. Minister Maggot (Sebiscuits Cardarphen: Dawn of Transcendence) Minister Maggot is one of the rare villains in the DLU that has a personal vendetta against the main character's allies who doesn't feel like a desperate tie-in. The battle in 2013's "Zero to Hero" affected his livelihood: He ran a company that advocated for Squib rights. But the damage caused by the Robotic Monster, coupled with stray blasts from its fight with Baby Intelligence, caused the company to (literally) go down in flames. In their final battle, Baby Intelligence saves Minister Maggot's life. In prison, Maggot refuses to reveal anything about Baby Intelligence's pet project, proving that his arc throughout the book is worth investing in. 11. Potty (The Prime Poppies) As the first villain in the first DLU book ever, Potty defined what these villains could and should be. His motivations, while not relatable, make sense, and he has the intelligence, resources, and talent to be believably threatening. 10. Steven Thompson (Diary of a Troubled Sixth Grader) Steven Thompson isn't an outright villain here, but he made "Diary of a Troubled Sixth Grader" better and added a lot of depth to everyone in the trilogy as a whole. 9. Zira Miranda Grover (Boys vs. Girls 2, Boys vs. Girls 2 Prelude) Zira Miranda Grover is pure evil--there's not a righteous bone in her entire body. If D. Isaac Thomas has taught me anything, it’s this: a good villain is one you love hating and hate loving. Without leaving her throne, Zira has complete control over the Earth through the International Alliance, ruling everything while keeping her bulk comfortably seated at all times, and thaat's what made her visage unique and strangely pretty. Now that she has had more success than most evildoers on this list, she just wants to have fun and live the high life. Sure, she didn't care who got hurt in the process, but her callousness just makes her magnetizing demeanor stronger. Zira's appearance made the novel wild and weird in the best way. It would not have been the same book if she hadn't appeared directly. 8. Larry the Debaser (Shields) Larry the Debaser was a monk determined to take over Khustandil. The fact that we don't know what he wants Khustandil for makes him mysterious in the best way, but he has a point about paradise not being good solely because it's paradise. Plus he's driven by fear of further failures and cracks some really good jokes, which makes him relatable as well. Clearly, a lot of thought and backstory was put into this talented yet damaged man. 7. Hell Burnbottom (The Super Babies: Book I: Pride of the Super Babies, The Super Babies: Book II: The Blabberish Singer, The Super Babies: Book III: Revenge of Hell Burnbottom, The Super Babies: Book IV: An Ended Generation, Sebiscuits Cardarphen: Knightfall, Sebiscuits Cardarphen: Apocalypse, The X-Children: Where Are You Now?, The X-Children: The Return of the Verasect) Hell Burnbottom is pure evil, just like his father, who trained him to become a vicious instrument of pure intent. He's a one-note villain, but he's terrifying and powerful and anyone who has deep feelings for Annabeth is a winner in my book. 6. Sebiscuits Cardarphen (Sebiscuits Cardarphen: Knightfall, Sebiscuits Cardarphen: Apocalypse, The Super Babies: Book IV: An Ended Generation, The Super Babies: Book V: The Final Chapter) Sebiscuits was so darn likeable that while it was a bit expected that he turned out to become evil, it was also shocking and a little difficult to take in. He was such a likable guy before he went rotten and became a vicious serial killer! Being Baby Intelligence's ex-sidekick helped build some emotional attachment to Sebiscuits, which made the twist that he would join Mr. Stupid NoHead even better than if he had been just some generic villain from the original series. 5. Rotta Hecks (Baby Intelligence: Zero to Hero) We all love to hate a good villain, but the woman who brought Baby Intelligence into existence turned out to be one of the bravest heroines in the history of D.I.T. She began her literary life as "Peter Hecks'" abusive mother and a secret and high-ranking ally to Mr. Stupid NoHead, but when the Dark Lord endangered the life of her son, she ingeniously orchestrated his rise from an unwanted freak to a solar-system-famous superhero. Rotta's driven by love alone, first for her Master, then for her son, which is what makes her an endearing and engaging character. 4. Emily Watson (Boys vs. Girls: The Coming Darkness, Boys vs. Girls: The Rise of the Serpent, Boys vs. Girls: The Fate of the Towers) Emily Olsen Watson was an interesting concept. Her intentions were to save the world by balancing who was in charge of what so no one would feel the need to commit sin. Emily was fine, but her goals intentions were a stretch. What really sells her character is her dry humor, sarcasm, and childlike wisdom that's far more twisted in some categories than in others. 3. Annabeth Black (Baby Intelligence: Zero to Hero, The Super Babies: Book I: Pride of the Super Babies, The Super Babies: Book II: The Blabberish Singer, The Super Babies: Book III: Revenge of Hell Burnbottom, The Super Babies: Book IV: An Ended Generation, The Super Babies: Book V: The Final Chapter, Sebiscuits Cardarphen: Dawn of Transcendence, Sebiscuits Cardarphen: Knightfall, Sebiscuits Cardarphen: Apocalypse) Annabeth Black brought mutantry some drama that beats anything else you'll see in the DLU. Baby Intelligence found out about her when she pretended to be his friend and damn if she isn't a real charmer. She's super evil! Annabeth very nearly destroys Baby Intelligence and dominates the universe, posing a very real threat to humanity. The best thing about Annabeth is that her goals aren't anything like what we thought which gives her a shit-load of complexity. Annabeth is complicated and has more emotional depth than most villains in any franchise. 2. Mr. Stupid NoHead (Baby Intelligence: Zero to Hero, The Super Babies: Book I: Pride of the Super Babies, The Super Babies: Book IV: An Ended Generation, Superquack II, Sebiscuits Cardarphen: Dawn of Transcendence, Sebiscuits Cardarphen: Knightfall, Sebiscuits Cardarphen: Apocalypse, The X-Children: Where Are You Now?, Before The SMSB: Why Has The Storm Ceased?, Before The SMSB: Where is the Darkness?, Before The SMSB: Who Will Hold Dominion?, Before The SMSB: What is a Bloodbath?) You simply cannot beat the sheer power of Mr. Stupid NoHead. The Dark Lord of Tsala is pure evil - there's not even a bit of humanity left in him. He is menacing and brings real stakes to the heroes and the solar system they live in. He's a one-note villain, but his frightening demeanor and nearly almighty power makes him more terrifying than what was on the page. The problem? Mr. Stupid NoHead does that thing we all know we SHOULDN'T do, and he does it, no matter how bad he'll feel, because he's incapable of love or remorse. The only thing that can be said in his defense is that he was conceived in one of the most messed-up ways imaginable, which in turn gives him depth without him being any less terrifying for it. He's the ultimate exterminator, and the biggest threat to hit D.I.T., ever. 1. The Dark Flame (The X-Adults: Endgame: The Latest Threat, The X-Adults: Endgame: The Inferno Relit, The X-Adults: Endgame: The New Order) The Dark Flame (or Thomas Meyer) is one of the DLU's best D.I.T. villains because he's fighting for a cause that is actually quite reasonable. It's not just one pure evil guy (or woman) versus the heroes. He's no joke — he did what his grandfather only fantasized about doing by destroying Master Intelligence once and for all. A lot of thought and backstory was put into the Dark Flame, and it didn't start with what makes him evil. By prioritizing his motivations and personality, D. Isaac Thomas made one of the DLU's best villains, and probably the best villain in the history of fiction. Category:Blog posts